It's hard to believe that there was once a time in my life, not too long ago in fact, that I went weeks without saying the word poop. In fact, I laugh at the great lengths I once went to in order to convince my then boyfriend, now husband, that it was something I never did.
Sorry babe, I fooled ya.
Now as a mom, poop, doodie, doo doo, poopy, poo poo, and when it's particularly large and gross, shit, have become a part of my every day vocabulary. And not just at diaper time folks, I can recall several adult only dinners in the past month where poop had been the hot topic of conversation.
I knew poop became an integral part of my life when suddenly it was number three in my list of most frequently used emojis. Right after crazy face and glass of wine.
Now before I was poop fluent, I was poop aware. And I credit this to my first baby, my fur baby Roxy. Roxy really prepared me for my intimate relationship with poop as having a dog is often the first time you have to physically touch a poop (yes, with a doggie poop bag you sickos) at least two times a day.
But now as a mom of two little ones, I not only talk about poop more than pop culture, I'm also well versed in poop variety.
There is the first poop, that newborn sticky tar poop that takes an entire pack of baby wipes to remove. This is followed promptly by the baby blow out poop, that covers anything within a two foot radius. There is the breastfeeding baby poop that everyone says doesn't smell, but I would argue it smells a lot like, well, shit. We have the antibiotic green poop, the baby-has-not-pooped-in-thirteen-days so get ready for a whopper poop. The fake out poop, the one you take out nine wipes in preparation for, because that diaper looks damn heavy, but ends up being a little turd. And then the how-did-my-tiny-human-make-this-man-size-poop, that always happens when you're at the playground with only three wipes left to your name. Sidenote: thank you to that angel mom at the playground last week for sharing her wipes. #momsunite
So moms, embrace the poop and the central role it plays in your life right now. Because before you know it, you will be sending your kids off to college and feeling nostalgic for the days when they needed you to wipe their ass. 💩💩💩💩💩
Reminder! Our next MOM GROUP is starting in two weeks, so register today and join moms from around the country to talk about boobs, babies and of course, POOP!!