I'm excited to bring you a new series we're starting called #momfail. This is where you guys share your honest and funny stories about when motherhood was less than perfect. Because we all need a break from the Pinterest perfect moms once in a while, don't you think?
We're looking for more stories, so email your mom fail to be featured here!
Big Little Fails
As a working mom of two, failure has become a fixture of my daily life. There’s the big ones: I work too much and I don’t feel present when I’m with my kids because I’m constantly worrying about the thousands of emails going unanswered. My kids’ diets aren’t balanced because I don’t have the time or energy to make them home cooked, farm to table, organic meals every day. I don’t read to them enough because it’s all I can do at 8pm to get everyone on/off the potty, brush teeth and coax them into bed. They aren’t cultured enough because, hey, it’s hard enough getting them out the door to go grocery shopping, pick up a prescription at Walgreen’s or even just grab a coffee from Starbucks – I’m exhausted just thinking about a half day adventure to a museum. The list goes on and on…
And then, there are the little fails. You know the ones I’m talking about here. The stupid, petty stuff that happens every single minute. Of Every. Single. Day.
The sweatpants she’s worn 3 days in a row are now in the laundry – which means she must choose from her other 14 pairs of sweatpants for ONE day. Oh, the horror.
We’re out of Cherry Yoplait Big Pouches. Just eat the Peach & Mango one, which you also love. Or, better yet, one of the other 500 flavors I stocked the fridge with when I did my weekly maniacal full shop in under 5 minutes and couldn’t decide which would be your favorite this week.
Netflix is buffering. And buffering. And buffering. Will it ever pass the 25% load threshold?!?!
A marker rolled off the table. It’s as if there’s a sea of craft-eating Lochness Monsters below her chair, waiting to pillage any Googly eyes, crayons or stickers that drop.
I need to use Waze to get directions to some bouncy house birthday party 50 miles away, which means she cannot waste my AT&T data playing a game or streaming PBS Kids. I mean, what’s she supposed to do? Look out the window and see the world? Or worse, talk to me?!
Somehow, these end up being the things that I’m judged on by my daughters. To them, these are my biggest downfalls as a mom. In a way, it’s oddly gratifying.
When you’ve got kids, it turns out its the BIG stuff you shouldn’t sweat.
Perception is reality, #amiright?
Under her roof: Two crazy girls, Arianna (3) and Alexis (14 months); one even crazier Goldendoodle, Winnie; one very patient husband, Andrew; and, more dust bunnies, single socks and graham cracker crumbs than she could possibly count.
Full-time gig: 10+ years as a PR flack, now managing strategic communications for technology and consumer brands varying in size from late stage start-up to large, global enterprise.
Favorite drink? Coffee (duh).
Most commonly used emoji? 🙌 or 💩or 🍷(used together more often that you might think)
If E! or Bravo made a reality show about her, it would be called: Circus Momimus