We are excited to bring you another addition of the #momfail series. If you'd like to share your honest and funny stories about when motherhood was less than perfect, we'd love to feature you! Email your submission to email@example.com, Subject: momfail.
When I was given the opportunity to write a post about a #momfail moment, it was hard to limit it to just one. My darling daughters, (yes mommies, that was sarcasm) are now six and nine. Each new phase of life has been ushered in like a storm and requires a steep learning curve. I hope you’ll stick with me while I share a few of my favorites!
Let’s start with my favorite baby #momfail, all about those cute little car seats that pop in and out of the stroller and into the seat base. We’ve all had them, and they're quite handy, but they come with an interesting set of challenges. While the process seems simple, you need to remember that when the baby is sleeping so nicely in the carriage, there’s a good chance that five point harness is not buckled. So, I had my first baby, and like all first parents my husband and I were enjoying our happily sleeping baby while dining about town. And, like all new mommies, one glass of wine put me in a pretty fun mood. There I was, blissfully happy and ready to head home. Of course I didn’t want to wake my little one so I very carefully transferred the car seat from the stroller into the base. Hopped into my seat and my baby daddy steered us onto the highway, with a very quiet infant. Success!!! It wasn't until about five minutes later when I started screaming at my very confused husband and dove into the backseat. Yes, I’m sure you guessed it by now. The car seat was attached to the base, but the baby was not attached to the seat. I was definitely not feeling like mom of the year after that one!
Now we all love toddler phase, but when they start moving, and you have a new infant on your hands, you realize the difference between the calm of one child vs the chaos of when they outnumber you! And there I was, in the middle of the store with the baby in the bjorn, and the three year old in clothes, a cape, a crown, and you’ve got it, I forgot to put on her shoes before we left. Which would’ve been okay had I not run into the headmaster of her preschool. #momfail.
And while in toddler phase we come to the playground. So much good stuff to make you laugh, but one memory stands out as the most embarrassing. Our playground was in a nice neighborhood, with very competitive mommies, of which I am not. You know the type, their kids could read at two, and had all their teeth by 3 months. Well my child had not yet learned to swing on the swings herself, but had outgrown the baby swing. “Push me mommy” came the usual call, of which I was happy to oblige. “Higher, Higher”, Of course! Then, “I want to get off” and she let go at the exact moment that I pushed, sending her flying through the air on the same arc as her swing, across a good swath of playground, landing face down with a thud. Lucky for me she was stunned and not hurt, but those moms gasped and gaped and whispered, not one breaking their evil stare to assist while I was holding the baby as well. We opted for ice cream because mommy couldn’t handle the embarrassment of being “that mom”!
As the girls got older, school routines came into play. There were days with missing lunches, jackets, water bottles, homework, school folders, permission slips and blaming mommy became the norm. It’s amazing how children can manipulate any situation into being Mom’s fault, especially in front of an audience. I’m currently writing this from an airplane between my two lovely daughters on the way home from a vacation. The older, is at 11 weeks with a cast on her leg, and we took this vacation so that she could swim and enjoy herself. Somehow that backfired. For all of the carrying her, helping, treats, and souvenirs, in return I got a 9 year old child that would throw her crutches down and scream at me in front of the whole resort. But I’m not that kind of mom, so discipline it was. Of course, everyone at the hotel thought I was evil for punishing the poor kid on crutches, but a Mommy’s got to do what a Mommy’s got to do. And sometimes, what feels like a giant fail, really isn’t!
I invite you all to share your #momfail moments, because sometimes the moments we feel like we have completely failed at being moms, we are really succeeding at making it through some really tough times, and teaching our children how to overcome their obstacles as well.