I would argue that most of parenting happens in one of two speeds: Things either move at warp speed or in slow motion. And it begins even before your kids have arrived.
Conception: Ether it feels like or it actually takes years to get pregnant, or it happens so fast you are left thinking, sh*t are we even ready for this?
Labor: You rarely hear of stories about women who have a regular, average length labor. It's either so painfully slow and exhausting, or it happens so fast you barely make it to the hospital.
Then of course are the warp speed or slow motion every day parenting happenings... For example...
Warp speed: The time it takes your kid to take her shoes and socks off in a public space, like the grocery store, or the Zoo.
Slow motion: The time it takes to get your kids shoes and socks on when you're already running late for work.
Warp speed: The speed at which your babies fingernails grow.
Slow motion: The speed at which her asymmetrically cut bangs grow out.
Warp speed: The length of a kids nap.
Slow motion: The time it takes to get said kid to get down for a nap.
Warp speed: How long it takes for your child to dart across the playground into the parking lot, that split second you turned the other way.
Slow motion: The time it takes to reason with your kid that it's time to leave the playground and go home for nap time.
Warp speed: The pace at which you eat your dinner, faster when you're out at a restaurant. I can't count the number of times I don't even remember eating my food.
Slow motion: The pace at which your child eats his meal of one chicken nugget and half a cheese stick.
Warp speed: How long it takes for your baby to start crying after she realizes you have left the room at bedtime.
Slow motion: Those minutes between check ins when you're sleep training.
Slow motion: The hours until nap time on those days where your toddler woke up at 5am.
Warp speed: How your newborn baby suddenly became a toddler.
They say the days are long but the years are short, and I couldn't agree more. But I think at the end of the day, you have to try your best to appreciate both the craziness and the mundane, because one day I think we'll look back fondly and miss it all.