Today is a historical day for me, my baby, and my boobs because today I defrosted my last frozen bag of breast milk. After officially one year and five days of breastfeeding my baby, I am nearing the end. And I must say, the sentiment is bittersweet.
On the one hand, I'm feeling sad and nostalgic. My breastfeeding experience had it's fair share of challenges, especially during those early weeks where I suffered through cracked and sore nipples, engorgement, and a baby with a barracuda latch. But once we got into the groove, I loved nursing. I loved the ritual, the built in cuddle time, and sometimes I loved the excuse to get away from the noise and the chaos and sit in silence with my baby. Plus knowing that Lucy is likely going to be our last baby, the ending feels so final, which makes me a bit sad.
But on the other hand, I'm excited to get my body and my freedom back. As any breastfeeding, or pumping mother can attest, you sacrifice so much of yourself to provide this type of service to your baby. It can be incredibly overwhelming and burdensome to be the only person capable of feeding your child, especially to the tune of 10+ times a day, and let's not even talk about what it does to your boobs. #boobjob2020.
I've been weaning for a few weeks now, slowly decreasing the times I would pump at work, and just this week I gave up the morning nurse session. I have been supplementing with cows milk and my once plentiful frozen stash of breast milk, but as I defrost the last 5 oz bag of "liquid gold" I can't help but be reminded of all of the time, effort, and willpower that went into this decision.
And so more than feeling sad, nostalgic, and a sense of relief...I feel really proud.
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